What to do “for” or “with” the dementia patient

Happy New Year!

I imagine thee are many caregivers out there who went through some added stress during the holidays. Women, especially, mount job after job, errand after errand, plan after plan and meal after meal upon themselves during that time between Thanksgiving and the first day of v the New Year.

Pile on the additional responsibility of caring for a dementia patient, whose needs seem to increase daily, and you have very little Ho, Ho, Ho left.

Those of us who have travelled the dementia trail know that in the beginning we are focused on what we can do “for” the loved one.  We do all the things they can no longer do: cooking, cleaning, gardening, home repair, finances, etc.  We do these things “FOR” the loved one.

Eventually, even our best efforts aren’t enough. We can’t keep up  with the incontinence, the wandering, the mood swings, meal planning, activity planning and all the rest. Then it becomes the question of what to do “WITH” the  loved one.

You may have come to that realization during the holidays. As our doctor told me, “It is never too soon to plan the next step.”  Transitioning from home to a dementia care facility is complicated at best.

I urge you to talk to your lawyer, investigate available facilities, familiarize yourself with the enormous costs involved and determine if your loved one is approved for Medicaid. The Medicaid labyrinth is scary. I advise people to contact an elder care agency that specializes in Medicaid.

Whatever you do,  don’t forget that dementia is progressive and irreversible.  You are the one who has to stay one step ahead of it.

Feel free to contact me through this website.  I will lend an ear and may have a suggestion or two.

With love and hope,

Jane